Breaking: Jack Wighton Becomes NRL’s First Openly Cannibal Player.
In a huge night of finals football, the Rugby League experienced a lot of firsts.
It was the first time the Novocastrians have played a home final since 2006, it was the first time the Steel City had won a finals match under head coach Adam O’Brien and ultimately it was the first time a player from the NRL has come out to live their lives as an openly cannibal player.
After more than a decade of service and in what would be his final game for the Green Machine, superstar Jack Wighton sunk his teeth into the forearm of Newcastle’s five-eight Tyson Gamble in the 47th minute and was reportedly seen licking his lips after the incident.
‘I’m sick of living a lie.’ Wighton was heard post-match, telling FOX Sports Joey Johns on the sideline. ‘I’m a cannibal and you know what, there’s more of us in the game than you think.’
NRL pundits Braith Anasta and Buzz Rothfield clashed once again on their popular program ‘NRL 360’ with Buzz claiming that out of all the players in the competition, players from the West Tigers team would surely have to taste the worst.
‘Okay,’ Braith can be heard, interrupting Rothfield. ‘That’s all we have for tonight.’ before openly trashing his guest host on a hot mic.
‘This is a family program, mate!’
The NRL’s stance on cannibals has been, generally, a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, however, in 2020, former Titans player Kevin Proctor was sent from the field after nibbling on then Sharks player Shaun Johnson and given a four-game ban.
‘It’s sad to think that I am who I am and that’s how I was treated during that time.’ Proctor stated. ‘I’ve always loved nibbling people and I’m not going to stop just because I play rugby league.’
The incident has set magazines and popular pop culture Instagram accounts on fire with openly cannibalistic media shock jock and influencer aerialpods_ penning an article for Mama Mia titled, ‘Yum Yum! NRL Players I’d gobble up! You’ll Never Believe What’s For Dessert At Number Six!’
The incident has split the viewership of the NRL with the vast majority of punters championing Jack Wighton.
Some have even gone as far as to suggest a special edition ‘Cannibal Round Jersey’ to highlight the support for the community.
A spokesperson for the Manly Sea Eagles responded to the suggestion by saying, ‘Although we support the cause, we currently have a small group of players who are fusing to wear the jumpers.’
In his post-game interview, Canberra’s legendary head coach, Ricky Stuart didn’t want the situation to overshadow what he deemed to be a ‘gutsy’ effort from his embattled side. Only stating,
‘In our game, we have a huge spectrum of players. We have carnivores, and vegetarians, and believe it or not there are several vegans. I don’t think it matters if you're a ‘cannibal’ or however you say it nowadays.’
‘Jack has been a crucial member of our squad and I, for one, am proud of him.’
‘All I can say is, at least he isn’t a weak-gutted dog.’
Jarome Luai, who is currently sidelined with a shoulder injury took to social media to voice his opinion, posting a story to his Instagram account.
The picture, posted at 1:23 a.m. this morning is a picture of inform Penrith Panthers captain Nathan Cleary, with the caption, ‘Give it a bit of sweet chili and I’d eat it! LMAO’ followed by several laughing emojis.
If Tyson Gamble passes his TIA (Tetanus Injury Assessment) he is expected to play for Newcastle against the Warriors.